THE TOOLKIT
Absolutisms: The Ultimatum
Asolutisms are words or phrases that communicate a message of extreme. They are usually intended to give a sense of importance, urgency, or drama, but many times they come across as narrow, autocratic, and condescending. They even serve as conversation stoppers where the receiver literally has no place to go with his communication. They communicate an absolute or ultimatum connotation to a message hence causing the listener to feel back into a corner unable to respond. Therefore, take a look at the absolutisms below and see how the can be replaced by words or phrases that still communicate the message but with a bit more openness:
Absolutism
Replacement
All
Need
None
Never
Always
Forever
Nobody
Everyone
Every time…
Most / Many
Should
Few
Rarely
Usually
Long time
Just a few
A lot of people
Many times … /A lot of times …
Examples
| Absolutism | Replacement |
|---|---|
| You ALWAYS miss the deadline. Let’s talk about it. | You seem to miss the deadline A LOT. Let’s talk about it. |
| ALL of your suggestions are off topic and too expensive. | MANY of your suggestions seem a bit off topic and pricey. |
| NOBODY knows the proper protocol, and that’s why we’re having EVERYONE retrained. | There’s a FEW people that don’t seem to understand the process, so we’re going to retrain a GOOD NUMBER of the team. |
| You NEED to call finance and make sure EVERY SINGLE DIGIT is double and triple-checked so NOBODY is dissatisfied. | We SHOULD call finance and review THE NUMBERS to make sure MOST OF THE TEAM is satisfied and onboard. |
| Every time you send me an email, I always have to correct your information because you never get the million and one skus correct. | I’ve received a number of emails where sometimes I’ve had to make some corrections because many of the skus, which are quite a few, were incorrect. |