THE TOOLKIT
Opinion Givers: N’T Questions

Many hostile questions attempt to lead you, the speaker. Questioners will try and get you to agree to their viewpoint as opposed to asking for yours. If you have a tendency to use these questions (remove the “n’t”), you should know they can come across as manipulative and condescending, especially when they’re done with a “you dummy” tone.

“If you can finish your sentence with the words,

YOU DUMMY,

Then you’re using the wrong tone of voice.”

Opinion givers, or “n’t questions,” actually disguise the askers opinion in the question. This is why we call them opinion givers. They begin with words that end in n’t:

Wouldn’t	Aren’t
Shouldn’t	Can’t
Couldn’t	Won’t
Isn’t	Don’t

Therefore, the first objective is to recognize when this occurs. Then, we offer three ways to respond to this line of questioning depending upon whether you’re looking to entertain a lively debate or diffuse the question and move on:

Example Opinion Giver:

“DON’T you think we need to speed up the deadline so we don’t end up behind the eight ball.”

DISAGREE	AGREE… QUALIFY	DIFFUSE
Treat the statement as a straight yes/no question and debate or argue.	Acknowledge and pacify the opinion by agreeing and qualify your answer.	Rephrase the question using the if-then technique.
No, I don’t believe we need to speed up the deadline. I think the timeline is just fine and will allow us some extra time on the backend for changes.	Yes, I believe the time frame could be sped up; however, I fear we would lose quality assurance and risk making some very severe mistakes.	If you’re asking me whether or not the current timeline is sufficient, then I’d say yes because I still believe it allows us time to make corrections if needed.