Disagreement, pushback, and outright confrontation may be one of the responses we get from people. This is usually an emotional response as opposed to a rational one; therefore, determining and identifying the resistance you get can be helpful to respond in an effective, professional manner. One of the tools to use when identifying the type of resistance you may be receiving comes from Rick Maurer’s resistance to change approach. He identifies three types of resistance:
- Rational Resistance: “I don’t get it…”
- Emotional Resistance: “I don’t like it.”
- Highly Emotional Resistance: “I don’t like you!”
“I don’t get it…”
MORE INFORMATION
This is considered rationale feedback and usually means the person is seeking more information. This can come from a lack of understanding or experience about the topic of the message. People are asking for more details, more examples, or further explanation on what you’re discussing. Usually, people are fine when getting this type of resistance; therefore, we respond in logical, factual manner providing additional information.
“I don’t like it.”
REFLECT & REDIRECT
Sometimes the resistance we get is not logical or rational; rather, it is emotional filled with frustration, passion, anger, or even apathy. The mistake we make is treating this as rational resistance and provide people with more information. On a sidenote, when we do this, we may inadvertently escalate the situation to a highly emotional state and create a tougher situation for ourselves. People are usually seeking sympathy, or even empathy, when they respond in this manner. Therefore, you should reflect or acknowledge that emotion and then redirect back to the topic at hand.
“I don’t like you!”
RESCHEDULE
Once in a while, and hopefully it is few and far between, people respond in a highly emotional manner. When this occurs, the ability to resolve the issue is almost impossible. Think about the last time you were in a highly emotional discussion with a loved one; did you resolve the issue in the moment? I’m guessing the answer is, “No.” Therefore, we recommend wrapping the discussion and revisiting the topic at another date/time.
Whether you’re responding to rational or emotional resistance, it’s important to maintain your composure and be cognizant of your tone, fluidity, volume, speed, and other nonverbal dynamics that could communicate frustration or impatience. You can use the links in the top right hand corner of this page to experiment with various tools and strategy to respond in a professional manner.